Ice coffee and sourdough toast......

I sit here @ the front counters with Josh and now he is going to leave and get food as he watches me type this blog, he says he's looking good. I second that. I think of Ethan and hold back my tears and save it for therapy later. The sun is out brightly shining through the terminal and life is just fine. For some reason, I'm sad, all of a sudden I have this ache for him. It's come across my mind that I shouldn't be here right now, that I should be home taking care of him. But I'm not. I'm working again like I did before, non-stop, taking extra shifts here and there, planning get-togethers with co-workers and friends. Life isn't the same because someone is missing and it's Ethan. My work life can never be the same because I miss him every second of every minute that I'm here @ work. At times, being @ work brings a comfort because I feel and think of him more here. I could be missing him so much because I am sitting on the stool that he and I shared when I carried him, using the same computer. It's flooding my memory bank with my time spent with him.