When does the pain of loss stop? Will you ever regain the life you had before or does it completely change after this experience? On June 10, 2009, my husband and I lost our little superhero, our son, Ethan Charles. We are in pain. It hurts so bad. It hurts to breath. There have been days passed that I don't want to leave the house, talk on the phone or get out of bed. We have had friends and family come over and it's been wonderful to see the outpouring of support for this tragic event in our lives but at the same time, when all the friends and family our gone, it hurts all over again.

My mind wonders to the day that Ethan got really sick. He looked right into my eyes as if he was saying, "Mommy, I don't feel so good today." My heart breaks and aches when I think about that particular day. The only best way we knew how to help him was to leave it up to God and let him go. Aaron and I knew that it was the best thing we could have done, the best love that we can ever give our boy.

Ethan was a great communicator. He knew that things inside me weren't working well. According to my OB, due to the heightened blood pressure during the pregnancy, after Ethan was born, my OB had sent my placenta to pathology to have it tested. 1/5 of my placenta had died. That was the main reason why Ethan didn't gain as much weight in the womb. He moved so much, giving me signs that it was time to come out. We were pregnant for 28 weeks and it was time. He wanted out. Aaron was not to happy about it at first but with explanation from the doctors, he understood. We both came to terms with it, accepted that our son was coming early. I was nervous and excited at the same time. When I heard him cry, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. The pain or discomfort didn't matter anymore. My boy was the only one that mattered.

Ethan was a fighter. Even his nurse Debbie said that to me when I was holding Ethan in my arms, she said, "He was such a fighter. He fought until he couldn't anymore." Ethan was our little superhero.